Anxiety turned to JOY!

I have come to realize (through valuable loving brethren and a gentle confirmation from the Lord) that I have anxiety and insecurity that has laid hidden in my life. It was quite a shock to me at first! I have never seen myself as an anxious person. I have always prided myself (should have been the first clue ) on not being concerned with what other people think of me. And here I am being confronted by a struggle with anxiety and insecurity! I saw it though, by God's grace and mercy, strong and clear - and it is now obvious to me how much it plays out in feeding my tendency toward anger. It has been literally stealing my joy! Anxiety leaves NO room for fun or enjoyment.

With this exposed and laid bare, I can now truly cast all of my cares on the Lord. There is much in my life I felt anxious about - none of it was in my control - which just made the anxiety all the more intense. Realizing this I can let it go - which makes room for JOY!

For example: In our new form of public school homeschooling (COVA) I was beginning to manage things as a task to get done. I would become angry when we fell behind or when anyone would not get a subject done that was on the list for that day. I was anxious about keeping on track instead of remembering why we were doing this to begin with. I have now begun to approach it all correctly (thanks to God who gently leads me)! I can trust that God is GOOD and that He knows what is best. I don't have to worry about a few lessons here and there. It's not like we aren't making any progress at all! We are actually ahead. I can approach it as FUN connect time with each one of them and we can ENJOY each other as we learn - the way I have always wanted homeschool to be, but have never known HOW! THe secret is to find my joy in the Lord and to RELAX and to trust Him for all my needs.

Yes, there are still hardships and frustrations, but I know God is handling everything and I can simply enjoy all that He is giving. I can speak the truth that nothing that happens during the day is THAT big of a deal. It is all LITTLE and in a week I will have forgotten all about it. I can laugh about the "tragedies" and lighten up and live in peace. PRAISE GOD!